Why I'm dancing when I can't even rack the ball
am dancing? I never feel like answering to people that are obviously not fans nor do they care about me or want to actually hear an answer. They are just hateful to complain on such a positive show. I do, however, think it's a good topic. I thought it would be nice to share with those that DO matter. I had/have fairly severe scoliosis. I also have bursitis in both shoulders so it grinds when I use them. I have trochenteric bursitis in both hips. It hurts to walk or lay on my dide. I have deteriorated discs in my neck which cause pain in my neck but also affects my nerves so I get nerve pain. I have two deteriorated discs in my lower back L5 and L6 and I've been laying on my right side because my left leg hurts. I have some neurological damage in my left leg and hips. It means my leg/hips at times feels really cold, sometimes itchy, throbbing, numb, needley, aching... in any combination of those. I have Parsonage Turner Syndrome, which means that I have pain, tingling and weakness in my upper left extremities including my neck, shoulder, armpit, inside of my arm straight down into the palm of my hand. Raising my arm above my heart hurts and feels like someone is trying to pull my arm off. I cannot lay down without pain. It has been painful to lay flat since my first back surgery when I was 12. When my discs started deteriorating five years ago, it hurt to lay on my left leg so now I only lay on my right. I have very little strength or control of my left leg. After I got pregnant with Savannah, I started to feel pain in my hips. It got diagnosed as bursitis. I can't lay on either side without pain. I used to be a world class sleeper. I could compete with anyone. More, now I wake up every couple hours in pain, all through the night. I'm in pain from the time I wake up till I go to bed. I have arthritis and degenerative disc disease. There is no doctor on this planet that thinks I should be playing pool. This isn't complaining. This is a FACT. So, understandably, when I can control the conditions, and ask for a racker when I'm competing as not to wear out my back, I do. If I can't, then I don't have to play. That's my choice. Fortunately, there are people that care about my condition and are understanding enough to provide me with a racker. It doesn't help me make the nineball and my opponent always has the same option to ask for a racker. So why am I dancing? Cuz I want to. Its my choice. No, the doctors don't recommend it. It's not good for my back, knees, shoulder, hips and it can cause more damage particularly to the deteriorating discs in my lower back as well as goodness knows what other risks. I don't know when I decided it but I just don't want to live in fear. I want to do the things I want to do with no regrets. I don't want my past to be an excuse for why my future isn't bright. I can't help my past but I can help my future by making decisions based on what I dream for instead of what I fear. I can actually say that I really wanted to dance. I've always wanted to dance. I watched the show regularly, recorded every episode as well as 'So You Think You Can Dance'. I love to dance. Never thought I could do it. Nor did I have the time. Then this opportunity showed up. I don't want to say no to what I think is a once in a lifetime opportunity just because I'm AFRAID I can't do it. Of COURSE I'm afraid I can't do it! I'm afraid of so many things! I just don't ever wants let that fear stop me. So, I'm doing this! I'm in agony but I'm happy as I've ever been! Professional dance lessons was on my bucket list. What better way to cross that off? So, long story long, I ask for a racker, because I can, and it's less painful. I play pool because I love it. And I'm dancing because I love it. The bottom line is, this body of mine is deteriorating. There's no cure. So if it's gonna go, then I'm going to do and enjoy the things that my body can do, even if it means testing the limits just to find out what they are. I'm not live by my doubts, even though I have so many. I'm gonna try not to be stupid. Thanks to all my fans for your constant support. I know you really care about me. I'm currently ranked third in the World by the WPBA and love pool as much as ever,I have six wonderful kids and a beautiful granddaughter, my husband loves me, and I'm dancing! I'm truly blessed.